Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Exorcist



Fred Phelps was a local character who terrorized Topeka, Kansas, for years.  He'd been an Eagle Scout when he was a boy, and began preaching against sin in college.  Conservative Bob Jones University allegedly gave him an ultimatum to seek psychiatric care or leave.  He left and earned a two year degree from John Muir College.  He was hired to preach at Topeka's East Side Baptist, but left in a year to found his own Westboro Baptist Church.  The church was his house in Topeka's Westboro neighborhood, and his large family was the congregation.  They did baptisms in the swimming pool and claimed status as a non-profit religious organization.

Fred earned a law degree from nearby Washburn University and got off on a good foot taking up civil rights cases for African Americans.  He got disbarred when he sued a court clerk for not getting him a transcript on time, put her on the witness stand for two weeks, and allegedly during the examination accused her of perverted sexual acts.  Why the judge let this go on is a mystery to this day, but Fred had a way of intimidating people.

When the AIDS epidemic hit,  Fred and his "congregation" started picketing the funerals.  His message was loud and clear, and the chanting and shouts were accompanied by graphic placards just to be sure you got the message:  "God Hates Fags" and stick figures posed suggestively to depict homosexual sex acts.  When there wasn't a funeral to picket, Fred and company picketed churches where the funerals had been held.

Fred inevitably got around to picketing my brother's church and, never mind the children, the adjoining Catholic school my nephew attended.  This infuriated the parish priest.  But what to do.   Fred wanted confrontation.   He hoped he'd be physically attacked, then he'd sue the attacker and use the money to keep Westboro Baptist going.   The priest donned his full regalia of vestments, grabbed his aspergillum, a ewer of holy water and headed for Fred.   Fred was furious when he got hit by the holy water, but what can you do?  Sue someone for sprinkling you with holy water.  Fred complained to the bishop.  The bishop sent him more holy water as a token of peace, secretly hoping that if enough touched him, Fred might burn up in smoke and blow away.