Some years ago I was working at home and a knocking came at the door. When I opened the door there was a young woman.
How can I help you, says I.
I am here to take the census.
This gave pause as it was 1995. You are very early or very late, says I.
Oh, we're taking a special census. We think we've missed some of the Hispanics in the last census and the city can get more money from the federal government if we find them.
I'd be glad to help you find the lost Hispanics. How can I help?
I just have two questions you need to answer.
Go ahead, says I.
What is your race?
Scientifically there is no such thing as race, young lady.
(since this was the government, I demurred on my "we're all one in Christ bit")
She didn't miss a beat and checked off race = smart aleck.
Do you have any Hispanic ancestry. (the infinitely powerful word any)
What do you mean by any.
Any ancestor from any country on this list.
And she handed me a very long list. I turned it over to the other side and found a match.
Yes, says I.
She smiled, elated that she had found one of the lost Hispanics, said thanks and was off without another word, not bothering to ask about my ancestor the Spanish Armada sailor shipwrecked on the Irish coast.
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The identity we know as Hispanic today is a result of the marriage of Celtic Iberia and the Roman Republic, whose forces under Scipio Africanus allied with Spain's Celts to defeat Hannibal of Carthage during the Punic wars.
"Livy tells the story of the capture of a beautiful woman by his troops, who offered her to Scipio as a prize of war. Scipio was astonished by her beauty, but discovered that the woman was betrothed to a Celtiberian chieftain named Allucius. He returned her to her fiancé, along with the money that had been offered by her parents to ransom her. While Scipio was long known for his great chivalry, Scipio doubtless also realized that the [Roman] Senate's first priority was the war in Italy, and in the midst of the Carthaginian base in Hispania, he was to be outnumbered without much hope of reinforcement. It was paramount therefore that Scipio cooperate with local chieftains to both supply and reinforce his small army. The woman's fiance, who soon married her, naturally brought over his tribe to support the Roman armies"
-- Livy, Ab urbe condita
