I'm very happy with my new car. It has adaptive cruise control, lane-keeping assist, automatic emergency braking, front and back, and bunch of other stuff. Stuff you really need if you day dream about the root cause of climate change and whether it's appropriate for hot college girls to wear skin-tight leggings to mass at Notre Dame University ... or are subject periodic flashbacks about tank battles and monitoring the emergency SAR channel when somebody screams "Shit" and then nothing but dead air.
Yesterday my son's buddy needed an emergency ride to Tucson for a meeting. I figured it had something to do with the Army reserve or a girl. Either way I was glad to help someone meet a commitment. Turned out it was a girl. He's off to Vietnam next Wednesday to meet her parents and had to fit the trip in between reserve training and going to an academy for a new job. If you need a rush, rush passport you have to go to the Western Regional Office in Tucson to get it. You can probably get a third party to do it for you, but it costs a lot more than the kid has.
Half way to Casa Grande all my AI dies: cruise control, braking, lane-keeping assist. No flashbacks or hot college girls in leggings, we made it to Tucson in one piece.
I waited outside while the young lover got his passport. While I waited, I decided to check the sensors on my fancy car. Maybe one got busted by road debris. They all looked intact, but one in the front had a tiny bug, about the size of a mosquito, plastered right in the middle of the sensor. "That can't be it. What the hell." I licked my pinkie with my tongue and wiped the bug off the sensor.
After my exercise in post-preventive maintenance, I stayed entertained by watching a homeless guy play human yo-yo riding a bike up and down the incline in the passport office parking lot.
If you have a uniform wear it to your passport appointment. By the rules, they'd have mailed the passport to the young lover and it might or might not have arrived in time for his flight. The folks at the passport office took one look at young lover's uniform and said come back at 3 and you can take your passport home with you today.
As I backed out of our parking spot my butt got buzzed and the car jerked to a halt by itself, emergency braking. The homeless guy with the bike flew past the back of my car.
When we hit the highway all the AI was working again. Gilligan had fixed the bug.
Sincerely,
Gilligan
